I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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