It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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