I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
