Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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