i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
