If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
