I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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