so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
