Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
smell my finger.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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