Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
