just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
