i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
