and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
