jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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