i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
