I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
