your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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