Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
