I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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