3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
