We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
