Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Mom said you looked used
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
