can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
