did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
