So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
