i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
