Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
