It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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