don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
