He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
