You're so nebulous sometimes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
