I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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