Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize