i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
