You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i now understand why vodka
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
