It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
