her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
