Farmville is her only friend.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
