her vagine was all disorganized.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
