All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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