Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so let's talk penis.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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