I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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