Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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