I got chris browned last night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
