Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
