So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
