I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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