thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
