i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
