i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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