careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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