so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
