Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Please, let me fuck your mom
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize