I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
