I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
