If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
