I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
