What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
