Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
